5 Simple Ways to Help Your Child Talk About Back‑to‑School Worries

If your child answers with “I don’t know” or “fine” when you ask about their day, you are not alone. Lots of kids feel all kinds of things about school including excitement and worries but it can be hard for them to find the words for what is going on inside.

After we spent years working in therapy and education, we made the Feelings Kit for moments like these. It gives families simple ways to help children notice and share their feelings. Our hope is that it makes talking about emotions a little easier, so you and your child can feel more connected and understood.

So here are five gentle, evidence-based ways to help your child open up about their back-to-school worries. We hope these help!

Children often share more about their worries when talking is just a natural part of the day, not something that feels like a big deal. Short, gentle check-ins that happen at the same time each day can help.

        Try one of these tiny check-in moments:

• Before shoes go on
• On the walk to school
• After school
• At bedtime

You might have a simple routine where you reflect on the best or the worst parts of the day. Or you could use The Feelings Wheel and ask, “Show me how your day felt?” The goal is to connect with your child, not to quiz them. These small, predictable moments give your child a safe space to share their feelings or worries before they become overwhelming.

Some children freeze when asked, “How are you feeling?” But they might find it easier to tell you about something that went well. Try asking them, “What’s one thing you did today that you’re proud of?”

Celebrating small wins helps children feel capable and build up their confidence for the bigger challenges ahead. Plus, once they are already talking, it can be easier to share those trickier parts of the day or worries.

When feelings get too big, children often need to calm their bodies before they are ready to talk about what happened. Try a grounding exercise to calm their body before checking in.

        You could try:

• Five‑finger breathing
• Wall push‑offs
• Shaking out the school day
• A warm drink
• A grounding stretch

Feel like your child would never try these? We've been there; grounding can be boring and overcomplicated. That's why we created coping tools that actually work, and kids actually want to try. Below is one of our favorites.

The science behind why this works

• Slow, steady breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the body’s natural calming response.

• As the body settles, stress hormones lower and the heartbeat steadies, helping children move out of “fight or flight” into a more regulated state.

• With practice, children learn they can guide themselves back to calm, building confidence and a lifelong skill for managing big feelings.

Once your child feels a little calmer, it is often much easier for them to talk about what is going on. If you are looking for more ways to help your child with big feelings, explore our Anger and Anxiety kits, child-friendly, fun ways to learn about and manage emotions.

Try a side-by-side conversation to get your child talking about their worries. These are the moments when you’re chatting while doing something together, washing dishes, walking the dog, or coloring. Because there’s no pressure to make eye contact, kids often find it easier to open up about worries or tough feelings. The shared activity keeps things relaxed, and the gentle rhythm of being side by side makes talking feel natural rather than a big, formal conversation.

        Our favorite side-by-side activities and why:

• Washing up: The gentle rhythm of warm water, clinking dishes, and shared movement keeps things relaxed. Children often talk more when their hands are busy and the moment feels ordinary.

• Driving together: No eye contact, predictable environment, and a sense of “we’re in this together.” Perfect for tiny check‑ins like, “Which part of school was most difficult today?”

• Walking side‑by‑side: Movement regulates the nervous system, and the world around you gives natural pauses. It’s one of the easiest ways to help children share small worries that lead to bigger ones.

• Playing a simple game: Coloring, Uno, Lego, or a quick puzzle keeps hands busy and pressure low. Children often reveal more when the focus isn’t directly on them.

A Final Note From Us

Working in children’s therapy and education, we kept seeing the same problem: most emotional regulation tools simply didn’t work for real family life.

So we started rebuilding them: Practical, durable tools that actually help children understand and express their feelings. If you want simple, evidence‑based support you can use on real-life days, join our Newsletter to stay in touch.

We’re building a community for parents who want to raise brave, kind, and emotionally confident kids.

See you soon.

Jake & Caitlin, 

The Feelings Kit team.

The information in this blog is for general guidance only and is not a substitute for professional medical, therapeutic, or clinical advice. Every child and family is different, so please use what feels right for you. The Feelings Kit cannot diagnose, treat, or prevent any condition. If you have concerns about your child's wellbeing, behavior, or mental health, we recommend speaking with a qualified professional such as a GP, teacher, or mental health specialist. For further information, please read our safety statement in the footer of our website.